Keeping up with an extended family

Article by: Murugeswari Natarajan, Associate Manager-Diversity Hiring

Like every woman, my marital life had started with pleasant expectations and beautiful dreams. From day one, the relationship with my in-laws was working out well. Being a retired working woman herself, my MIL who I endearingly call, Amma understood my hardships as a professional. Having said that in the later years, I have encountered many conflicts with my mother-in-law, like everyone else. Over time, I have learned to endure. In due course, I realized that this is nothing but my insecurity. It’s part of all our lives. It is surprising that we easily understand the insecurities that others suffer from, but it takes time for us to understand our insecurity.

If we try to identify the insecurities and overcome those, many problems can be solved in advance.

1.      Creating a healthy network

2.      Working out more on your passion

I have learned to do both of these.

As I had mentioned earlier, I perceived the notion that my mother in law was insecure. In the following days, a series of bitter incidents caused me to lose my patience. I sunk into a grave of darkness. And the darkness gradually increased post my delivery. I believe it was ‘Postpartum Depression’. Immediately, a few people around me rose the question of us living as a nuclear family. Yet, I was determined to live with an extended family. Because, in the days that followed, my baby needed support.

During this turbulent phase, my husband offered me a piece of curt but practical advice. He said, “You need to know who you are as a person. Prioritize your aspirations. Building a relationship takes time and effort so don’t hold unnecessary grudges”. His advice pushed me into a new direction of life. I realized that my insecurities and conflicts have affected my overall intention. I decided to work on myself thoroughly. This was one of the main reasons for my early return to work post-maternity.

The solutions I devised for myself were to cleanse my network and spot the supportive relationship to be sustained for the long term. And, the second one was to work out more on my passion. So as planned, I started to keep a check on my network regularly. I have a belief that if we have positively strong supporters in our network, we will be cheerful and will automatically move forward. If you feel uneasy in your relationships or alarmed by people who possess a toxic mentality, get rid of them immediately.

In the personal front too, I adopted a few goals. The first step that I took was to split the duties among everyone in the house. As soon as I figured out what our priorities are, I sat down, set goals, and made plans to maintain the course. I had chalked out individual goals as well as couple goals in terms of our Health, Career, and Finance. So, we have 5 members in my home including my kid. We have 5 personal goals for each and a family goal. The goals we fixed for ourselves gave us success in subsequent years. I always design a family goal that depends on everyone’s responsibilities, it can be achieved only by every member’s co-operation. So we have made the plans intertwined and transparent. At present, the couple’s goal has changed into a family goal. For example, if a family faces a financial crisis, the entire family needs to be attentive in cooperating. In other words, we as a group have transformed our lifestyle slowly instead of trying to work hard to change everyone’s attitudes individually. This transformation has provided us with a lot of time to converse with my family, allows us to listen to each other, and above all, my little one is nurtured in love with her grandparents. Being a working mother I make all the decisions with confidence along with their experienced inputs. We are flattered when our kith & kin appreciate that we drive a family perfectly with ethics.

You can’t get what you want unless you envision it. Give yourself the space to dream what you want. Today’s women prefer to raise their children with grandparents rather than leaving them in kindergarten/day school (until and unless the situation suggests otherwise). This is a good sign. If you learn to accept the challenges, I assure you that your growth will be tremendous in the extended family. Let’s go back to the extended family culture to make our homes a haven.


Bringing back the fun in summer vacation (Summer Series)

By Chaitali Shroff, Parent Coach, Social Emotional Learning Educator

We can’t escape the sweltering summer but let’s not sweat about summer vacation. All kids look forward to their summer vacation, and summer vacations are tough for the parents. With temperature soaring high outside as well inside the home!! Kids getting bored at home …Watching TV endlessly…Fighting big time…Troubling grandparents or care taker etc. The list goes on and on. Parents are busy at either home or work.

How do parents navigate these tough tides and ensure that they swim well at both home and office. Small things make a World of difference.

Read More » “Bringing back the fun in summer vacation (Summer Series)”


Mother’s Day Series – In Conversation with a Working Mother (Part 3)

Article by: Kanakadurga Ramani, Manager – Consulting Services at Avtar with Dr. Suja.M.K. – Associate.Professor & Chairperson, Department of  Social Work, Amrita  Vishwa Vidyapeetham, Coimbatore.

1. Please tell us about yourself, your passions and dreams.

I am very passionate about my profession that is Social Work. At 50 my dream is to help people especially women and adolescents come out of their mental barriers and short comings to live their life to the fullest. All they need is a little push.

Read More » “Mother’s Day Series – In Conversation with a Working Mother (Part 3)”


3 practical tips for Working Moms this summer (Summer Series)

 

 

Article by: Jayati Chakraborty (Executive Vice President – Business and Operations at Teleperformance).

Summer vacation, a source of great delight to all school children and looked forward to eagerly by them, poses a challenge to working mothers as they have to organize child care and devise innovative ways of keeping their brood busy and entertained.

Since I have had to wade through dozens of summer breaks with my child whilst working in the fast paced world of business, I regard myself as a near expert in terms of managing these challenges. Here are some tips and tricks that I have accumulated over the last few years to survive summer vacation:

Read More » “3 practical tips for Working Moms this summer (Summer Series)”


PCOS Awareness month

Today’s working women experience a lot of hormonal issues and the commonest of which is PCOS or poly cystic ovarian syndrome which is now also known as the metabolic reproductive syndrome. This can affect your overall health and appearance, anybody who has attained puberty can have PCOS. It is a health problem that affects one in 10 women of childbearing age. Even though most of us are familiar with the term. Do we know enough about it?  Read More » “PCOS Awareness month”


What Does It Take To Be A Successful Woman Professional ?

Article By  Shruti M – Presales Consultant, Team AVTAR

This Mother’s Day, we pay a tribute to all family members, friends and workplace colleagues who empowered and enabled women to work, by wholeheartedly supporting them.

Read More » “What Does It Take To Be A Successful Woman Professional ?”


Tips For Moms With Newborn Babies

Here are useful tips for moms with newborns !

Article Credits: Dr. Mrs. Rani Nandakumar, M.D., D.G.O., MICOG, Retired Professor of Obstetrics and Gynaecology, Senior Consultant Obstetrician, Gynaecologist, & Sonologist, Laparoscopic Surgeon and Specialised in Reproductive Medicine. She has 40 years of experience in obstetrics and gynaecology. Read More » “Tips For Moms With Newborn Babies”


Morning Sickness in Pregnancy and How to Minimise Discomfort to the Mother

Morning sickness occurs commonly in early pregnancy. Morning sickness can occur any time of the day or all day long. This condition affects a large portion of pregnant women.  Read More » “Morning Sickness in Pregnancy and How to Minimise Discomfort to the Mother”