Working mothers’ parenting dilemma

Article by Ms. Chaitali Shroff, Parent Coach, Social Emotional Learning Educator.

Parenting has never been so tough. In past, our social and economic structure was in such a way that parenting was a very natural process. No one discussed about how to raise kids, how to feed kids, how to engage your kids so on and so forth. However in our fastest changing socioeconomic scenario, parenting has become a challenging task. While women have been making their head way in different fields, parenting can become daunting at times for them. Here are the few tips which working mothers can consider making parenting a fulfilling experience and wonderful journey.

  • Parenting is not a race: We are in the world of rat race. Let’s not make parenting as a race. Don’t compare yourself or your child with anyone else. Everyone is unique and different in their own way. Two questions you need to ask yourself are, “Are you doing your best?” and “Is your child a happy child?” Don’t become a part of the parenting rat race and enjoy the journey with your child.
  • No one is perfect: Don’t aim for perfection. Aim for “better than yesterday”. Working mothers are doing two full time jobs in the same 24 hours. It is not easy most of the time. If you aim to be perfect, you will put yourself in a tremendous stress and pressure which will exhaust you completely. If your state of mind is not happy then the parenting becomes more tough and frustrating.
  • Learn to say NO: Many of us will never say “NO” at workplace due to many reasons which we all know of. It is OK to say “NO” to keep up your personal commitments and priorities. Being physically in office while our mind is somewhere else, doesn’t do any good to either office or you. It is important to be clear on our priorities while we are trying to do two full time jobs. Time management and prioritization are two important skills for the mother and the leader.
  • Every child has an innate potential: Every child is born with the inherent capabilities and potential. They are capable of achieving WHAT THEY WANT NOT WHAT WE WANT! Once we take out our need of making them achieve something in life, parenting becomes bliss. Many times, parenting is all about parents rather than kids. Kids need happy parents and positive environment to unleash their potential.
  • Guilt is a complete waste: Feeling guilty is a complete waste of time. When we feel guilty, negative emotions takes over us and unknowingly we spoil our present moment. Many times we feel guilty about things which our kids don’t even care. Our kids wants happy mom whenever she is around. So stop feeling guilty and starting living in present. If you believe, you will feel guilty by not doing certain things, JUST DO IT rather than feeling guilty about it later.
  • Material things do not matter: Often parents say that we are earning so that my kids can buy what they want. It is we as parents make our kids get used to material things. When a child is born, they are like a clean slate it is up to us on what we write. Identify your own need of earning money rather than saying that it is your child’s need. Kids want loving and affectionate parents with whom they can share their feelings and look forward for guidance without being judgmental.